Distorted
By Blayne Bittner


Prologue:

For those of you who don;t already, I am God! No... wait a minute: I'm above God! I am above Satan! I am the one who changed: I manipulated myself. Life is perception; you have to know this in order to understand the story that I'm about to tell you!


August 31/2001; 11:59 p.m.

This is me in my bed. I'm sleeping. This is me one minute later waking up in shock due to an annoying buzzing noise!

"What the heck?" I said.

"Hello!" A deep and harmonic lady's voice spoke.

Who are you?"

You know what? I should probably start sooner than this. I say we go back about half a day earlier!


August 31/2002; 7:00 a.m.

This is me. Wait a minute: have I even told you my name? Well... it's Daryk Stone. Any ways... where was I?

Oh yeah... this is me in bed. I am sleeping again. It seems that in the morning I am never ready to wake up. Any ways, that's beside the point. No! It is the point! Wait a minute. I'm confused. Uh... yeah... this obviously proves just how distorted I really am! Any ways... where was I? Wait a minute, am I not repeating myself again? I've got to just quit confusing myself and let this go. Now, where was I?

Oh yeah-I mean right, this is me up early in the morning looking out my bedroom window. I just can't help but think that something is going to happen. It's almost september. So what? You think. Well, every September something bad happens! This is whether I know it or not. Last year it was my mother dying! The year before, my father died. Come to think of it: I am probably the most distorted person you will ever meet!



Above all this, I just can't help but think that this year is going to be totally distorted; it is like a gut feeling. This September is going to be the strangest month I have ever have.


September 1/2001; 12:00 a.m.

"What the heck?" I say approximately twenty seconds after my alarm went off. Come to think of it: why did my alarm go off exactly at midnight on september 1st?



"Hello!" A deranged yet lady-like voice called out.

"Who are you?"

"The question is: who are you?" A deep manly voice said.

Wait a minute, I just realised something, I can't remember exactly when my parents died. Any ways, where was I? Oh yeah...

"I'm Daryk Stone!"

"Are you sure?" A disarranged yet deep-I mean low-I mean... uh... a deep woman's voice said-spoke.

I turned on the light. I saw a man and a woman of about equal height.

"Of course I'm sure. Again, who are you?"

"Do I have to show you? Oh and don't start grovelling!"

"What: are you God or something?"

"Yes... I am whoever you want me to be!"

"I believe you are God."

May I remind you again that perception and manipulation are the two most important elements in life. If anyone were ever to meet god, they wouldn't believe their eyes. By this I mean literally-or figuratively, which ever. At this time I had manipulated myself to let the truth sink in. In other words, I shall continue.

"Of course we are Gods. This is why we are here. You are the one, Daryk Stone!"

"I am the one?"

I have learnt, over the years, that if you believe in yourself, you can achieve anything! Mind over matter! Amy ways, I shall continue.

"Of course you are. I know for a fact that you can do anything you want."

This is getting ridiculous-thinking back on this-because of what you are about to see me do.

"Of course I can!"

"Try it out!"

Here I go again.

"Yes!"

I am definitely going to far. You are about to see why.

I jumped out of bed. I ran up the wall.

This is a little much!

I saved the universe. I walked on water.

I did all this. And yet... did I? Observe.


September 15 / 2001

"Are you ready to wake up?" A high-pitched voice said.

"I am ready to wake up!"

Right now I am still wondering about this moment!

I opened my eyes. Slowly. Ever so slowly. I say this because what is supposed to be a simple task actually turns out to be quite hard.

Any ways, I finally adjusted my eyes. I realised I was in a white-colored room. It appeared to be a hospital.

Oh man... I am in way over my head.

Just then, a doctor ran in.

"Oh my god!"

"What?" I moan.

"How are you awake?"

"What do you mean?"

I still wonder about why I woke up from having a tumor. I wonder how long I was in a coma! That's right. I had a tumor and I-... Wait a minute! I should be dead! Why did I feel so high off the ground in the hospital bed? Was I levitating? How am I living? I have no job. I haven't eaten for I don't know how long. What is happening? Why is there a car parked in a tree outside the window? Where am I? Am I real? Am I dead? Am I really ready to wake up?